I'm currently sitting in a quiet place - something we don’t find here often. The wind is swiftly blowing through the window and the sound of people making dinner and clanking pots and pans together is a melody.

It’s been weird being in South Africa and I’m not exactly sure how I feel. I often think to much about things - I think to far into things and more often than not, I find myself in a state of uneasiness. How do I find myself sitting in South Africa - thousands of miles away from the ones I love? It’s crazy that I get to call this journey a piece of my life. Things don’t always make sense here and sometimes it’s really hard. 

How do I get to live in the USA always knowing I have a meal at the table while others don’t know where their next meal is going to come from? How did I get so lucky to be in the position of the giver instead of the one begging? 

Why is everything on this side of heaven so unfulfilling? There is something to learn here. Whenever there is nothing to distract human beings from their reality, things become “too realistic” for humans to bear. 

We fight for things to stay the same that need to be changed. We hold onto what’s comfortable because the reality of letting go is much scarier then stepping into new things. We hold a moment for longer than it should be held because once it’s released, it can’t ever be ours again.  

Why do I desire to know my future so bad? Because it distracts me from having to comprehend and process what’s happening right in front of me. Knowing that everything is fleeting, gives me a desire to hold onto something that’s so far away so it can feel like “mine” for a short time. When something hasn’t come to pass yet, I still get to call it mine. 

I want my heart to be in such a deep surrender that I don’t want to carry the things of this world. I want to be in a place where my heart is so in love with what’s happening in front of me that I can’t help but be present. 

It can be incredibly isolating to be doing something different from my peers - to go against what everyone thinks is normal. But what is actually normal? Who said that going to school for 16 years straight was right? Maybe we shouldn’t always go with what society says is right but do what the Lord calls us into. We get to cultivate the change that the world so desperately needs. 

Let people take offense to the things we say about the kingdom! The offense is lighting a spark in them and that is good. We live in a world where speaking a word, or reaching out to a person, or just seeing people for who they are can change their whole life. 

My life is so short, why would I ever disqualify myself and not do something because I am scared? 

Living outside the box is where freedom is found! 

Live the life that is ever changing!