I’m currently sitting in a quiet place – something we don’t find here often. The wind is swiftly blowing through the window and the sound of people making dinner and clanking pots and pans together is a melody.
It’s been weird being in South Africa and I’m not exactly sure how I feel. I often think to much about things – I think to far into things and more often than not, I find myself in a state of uneasiness. How do I find myself sitting in South Africa – thousands of miles away from the ones I love? It’s crazy that I get to call this journey a piece of my life. Things don’t always make sense here and sometimes it’s really hard.
How do I get to live in the USA always knowing I have a meal at the table while others don’t know where their next meal is going to come from? How did I get so lucky to be in the position of the giver instead of the one begging?
Why is everything on this side of heaven so unfulfilling? There is something to learn here. Whenever there is nothing to distract human beings from their reality, things become “too realistic” for humans to bear.
We fight for things to stay the same that need to be changed. We hold onto what’s comfortable because the reality of letting go is much scarier then stepping into new things. We hold a moment for longer than it should be held because once it’s released, it can’t ever be ours again.
Why do I desire to know my future so bad? Because it distracts me from having to comprehend and process what’s happening right in front of me. Knowing that everything is fleeting, gives me a desire to hold onto something that’s so far away so it can feel like “mine” for a short time. When something hasn’t come to pass yet, I still get to call it mine.
I want my heart to be in such a deep surrender that I don’t want to carry the things of this world. I want to be in a place where my heart is so in love with what’s happening in front of me that I can’t help but be present.
It can be incredibly isolating to be doing something different from my peers – to go against what everyone thinks is normal. But what is actually normal? Who said that going to school for 16 years straight was right? Maybe we shouldn’t always go with what society says is right but do what the Lord calls us into. We get to cultivate the change that the world so desperately needs.
Let people take offense to the things we say about the kingdom! The offense is lighting a spark in them and that is good. We live in a world where speaking a word, or reaching out to a person, or just seeing people for who they are can change their whole life.
My life is so short, why would I ever disqualify myself and not do something because I am scared?
Living outside the box is where freedom is found!
Live the life that is ever changing!
Where the Lord is calling you, there you will find life. Society, comfort, desire all lead us somewhere, but is it where you are called? Trust is faith. Trust is leaning into that unknown, but knowing where He is, there is an abundance of His goodness.
Your words are extremely spot on. How can I live in the present when I am worried about the future? What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right yet we as you so eloquently say do what the Lord says is right period end of sentence.
You are living a dream that many want to do but are afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Stepping out is freedom releasing. Keep up the GREAT work and never wonder why GOD has you where you are. We are all called to be a blessing to the world. Say hi to ALexis for me.
What an amazing perspective. You are blessed with true wisdom. The reason they call right now the present is everyday is a gift! You are a gift to all of us everyday??. Love you.
Celia, Your wisdom surpasses that of your chronological years. Your words have a depth that leaves me chewing on them, copying them into my journal. Things don’t always make sense anywhere on this planet, and I’m grateful for the opportunity you and your squad have to experience all that you’ve mentioned here: uneasiness, giving, unfulfillment, learning, surrender, isolation, FREEDOM! It is out of the hard stuff, the trials, that we grow in perseverance, character, and hope (Romans 5). Your kingdom journey is producing fruit that spills out onto others around you, even those of us thousands of miles away. Thanks for sharing your journal entry.